Marriage by the Bible - Marriage Counseling Questionnaire

Ted R. Weiland · Missionary · www.missiontoisrael.org

Marriage by the Bible

W-1

Do you love your husband? Yes    No

Do you love him (and everything else) second to Yeshua* the Christ? Is Yeshua first in your life? Yes    No

Other than Yeshua, is your husband more important to you than anyone or anything else? Yes    No

Provided your husband does not ask you to do something ungodly, are you submissive to him as you are to Yeshua? Yes    No

Are you subject to him in everything without complaint, even when you think he has made a bad decision or shown poor judgment? Yes    No

Are you submissive to him, even when he’s treated you badly? Yes    No

Are you subject to him in public? Yes    No

Do you respect him? Yes    No

Do you honor him above yourself? Yes    No

Do you seek his advice and counsel? Yes    No

Do you obey him? Yes    No

Do you serve him? Yes    No

Are you striving to become one with him in all areas (spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially)? Yes    No

Do you ever threaten divorce? Yes    No

Have you ever committed adultery? Yes    No

Are you a companion to your husband? Yes    No

Do you respond to his sexual needs? Yes    No

Are you jealous of him? Yes    No

Do you trust him? Yes    No

Do you assist him? Yes    No

Do you bear his burdens? Yes    No

Are you rude or offensive? Yes    No

Are you vindictive? Yes    No

Are you forgiving? Yes    No

Do you confess your faults to him? Yes    No

Is your behavior and lifestyle drawing him nearer to Yeshua? Are you helping him become more spiritual? Yes    No

Do you encourage him daily? Yes    No

Do you pray for him? Yes    No

Do you allow him to teach you? Yes    No

Is your behavior pure and respectful? Yes    No

Do you display a gentle and quiet spirit? Yes    No

Are you self-controlled and sensible? Yes    No

Are you kind? Yes    No

Do you neglect home responsibilities? Yes    No

Do you argue or nag? Yes    No

Do you use good judgment? Yes    No

Are you trustworthy? Yes    No

Do you contribute to your husband’s success? Yes    No

Are you a grumbler or complainer? Yes    No

Do you search for ways to please your husband? Yes    No

Do you put your family’s needs above your own? Yes    No

Are you wise with money? Yes    No

Do you strive to be healthy? Yes    No

Do you have a good self-image in Christ? Yes    No

Are you generous to those less blessed? Yes    No

Do you prepare for the future? Yes    No

Do you keep yourself looking nice? Yes    No

Are you enterprising and industrious? Yes    No

Do you face life with optimism? Yes    No

Do you think before you speak? Yes    No

Are you lazy? Yes    No

Are you patient? Yes    No

Are you unselfish? Yes    No

Is your love unfailing? Yes    No

________________

*Yeshua is the English transliteration of our Savior’s Hebrew name and is preferred by the author.

W-2

Does your husband love you? Yes    No

Does he love you (and everything else) second to Yeshua the Christ? Is Yeshua first in his life? Yes    No

Does he love you sacrificially? Yes    No

Does he care for you as he does his own body? Yes    No

Does he regard you with the same importance as he does himself?

Yes    No

Other than Yeshua, are you more important to your husband than anyone or anything else? Yes    No

Is he striving to become one with you in all areas (spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially)? Yes    No

Does he serve you? Yes    No

Does he show appreciation for you? Yes    No

Does he ever threaten divorce? Yes    No

Has he ever committed adultery? Yes    No

Does he respond to your sexual needs? Yes    No

Is he still aroused by your physical features? Yes    No

Is he the leader in your home, spiritually, as well as physically?

Yes    No

Is his behavior and lifestyle drawing you nearer to Yeshua? Is he helping you become more spiritual? Yes    No

Does he teach and encourage you daily? Yes    No

Does he bear your burdens? Yes    No

Does he pray for you? Yes    No

Does he provide financially for you and your family? Yes    No

Does he trust you? Yes    No

Does he praise you both privately and publicly? Yes    No

Does he give you freedom for self-expression? Yes    No

Is he understanding and sympathetic? Yes    No

Does he honor you? Yes    No

Is he kind? Yes    No

Is he vindictive? Yes    No

Is he forgiving? Yes    No

Does he confess his faults to you? Yes    No

Does he spend recreational time with you? Yes    No

Is he patient? Yes    No

Is he jealous of you? Yes    No

Is he rude or offensive? Yes    No

Is he unselfish? Yes    No

Is his love unfailing? Yes    No

W-3

Do you love your husband?

"...teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children..."—Titus 2:4*

Do you love your husband (and everything else) second to Yeshua the Christ? Is Yeshua first in your life?

"If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers … thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him…."— Deuteronomy 13:6-8

"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth YHWH,** she shall be praised."—Proverbs 31:30

"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me."—Matthew 10:37-38

Other than Yeshua, is your husband more important to you than anyone or anything?

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."—Genesis 2:24

Provided your husband does not ask you to do something ungodly, are you submissive to him as you are to Yeshua?

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."—Ephesians 5:22

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."—Colossians 3:18

Are you subject to him in everything without complaint, even when you think he has made a bad decision or shown poor judgment?

"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."—Ephesians 5:24

"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection."—1 Timothy 2:11

Are you submissive to him, even when he’s treated you badly?

"Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable…. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. …since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps…. In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives…."—1 Peter 2:18-3:1 (NASV)

Are you subject to him in public?

"Let your women keep silence in the churches ... but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law."—1 Corinthians 14:34

"...obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."—Titus 2:5

Do you respect him?

"...and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband."—Ephesians 5:33 (NASV)

Do you honor him above yourself?

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man...."—1Corinthians 11:3

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."—Proverbs 12:4

Do you seek his advice and counsel?

"Let your women keep silence in the churches ... but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home...."—1 Corinthians 14:34-35

Do you obey him?

"Let your women keep silence in the churches ... but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law."—1 Corinthians 14:34

"For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear."—1 Peter 3:5-6 (NASV)

Do you serve him?

"...But by love serve one another."—Galatians 5:13

Are you striving to become one with him in all areas (spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially)?

"And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh…."—Matthew 19:5-6

Do you ever threaten divorce?

"...What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."—Matthew 19:6

"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband."—1 Corinthians 7:10

"Love ... endures all things. Love never fails...."—1 Corinthians 13:7-8 (NASV)

Have you ever committed adultery?

"Thou shalt not commit adultery." —Exodus 20:14

"Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone, and not for strangers with you."—Proverbs 5:15-17 (NASV)

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."—Hebrews 13:4

Are you a companion to your husband?

"...but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And ... the rib, which YHWH God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man."—Genesis 2:20-22

Do you respond to his sexual needs?

"My beloved is mine, and I am his...."—Song of Solomon 2:16

"Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer...."—1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NASV)

Are you jealous of him?

"Love is … not jealous."—1 Corinthians 13:4 (NASV)

Do you trust him?

"Love … believes all things."—1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NASV)

Do you assist him?

"...but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.... And the rib, which YHWH God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man."—Genesis 2:20-22

"Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."—Galatians 6:2

Do you bear his burdens?

"Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."—Galatians 6:2

Are you rude or offensive?

"Love ... does not act unbecomingly."—1 Corinthians 13:5 (NASV)

Are you vindictive?

"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith YHWH." —Romans 12:19

"Love ... is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered."—1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NASV)

"[Yeshua] Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.... Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands."—1 Peter 2:23-3:1

Are you forgiving?

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."—Matthew 6:14-15

"…For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you."—Matthew 7:2 (NASV)

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you."—Ephesians 4:32

Do you confess your faults to him?

"Confess your faults one to another..."—James 5:16

Is your lifestyle drawing him nearer to Yeshua? Are you helping him become more spiritual?

"…let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds."—Hebrews 10:24 (NASV)

"In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives."—1 Peter 3:1 (NASV)

Do you encourage him daily?

"But exhort one another daily, while it is called Today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin."—Hebrews 3:13

Do you pray for him?

"...pray for one another...."—James 5:16

Do you allow him to teach you?

"…if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home…."—1 Corinthians 14:35

"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection."—1 Timothy 2:11

Is your behavior pure and respectful?

"In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior."—1 Peter 3:1-2 (NASV)

"...teach the young women ... to be discreet, chaste...."—Titus 2:4-5

Do you display a gentle and quiet spirit?

"And let not your adornment be merely external − braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."—1 Peter 3:3-4 (NASV)

"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection."—1 Timothy 2:11

Are you sensible?

"...encourage the young women to … be sensible…."—Titus 2:4-5 (NASV)

Are you kind?

"Love is … kind…."—1 Corinthians 13:4 (NASV)

"…encourage the young women ... to be ... kind."—Titus 2:4-5 (NASV)

Do you neglect home responsibilities?

"She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness."—Proverbs 31:27

"...encourage the young women … to be … workers at home."—Titus 2:4-5

Do you argue or nag?

"...the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping."—Proverbs 19:13

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house."—Proverbs 21:9

"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."—Proverbs 21:19

Do you use good judgment?

"...a prudent wife is from YHWH." Proverbs 19:14

"As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion."—Proverbs 11:22

Are you trustworthy?

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her...."—Proverbs 31:10-11

Do you contribute to your husband’s success?

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."—Proverbs 31:11

Are you a grumbler or complainer?

"She ... worketh willingly with her hands."—Proverbs 31:13

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing."—Philippians 2:14 (NASV)

Do you search for ways to please your husband?

"She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life…. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar."—Proverbs 31:12-14

Do you put your family’s needs above your own?

"She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household."—Proverbs 31:15

Are you wise with money?

"She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard."—Proverbs 31:16

Do you strive to be healthy?

"She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms."—Proverbs 31:17

Do you have a good self-image in Christ?

"She senses that her gain is good...."—Proverbs 31:18

Are you generous to those less blessed?

"She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy."—Proverbs 31:19-20

Do you prepare for the future?

"She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet."—Proverbs 31:21

Do you keep yourself looking nice?

"She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple."—Proverbs 31:22

Are you enterprising and industrious?

"She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant."—Proverbs 31:24

Do you face life with optimism?

"Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come."—Proverbs 31:25

Do you think before you speak?

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."—Proverbs 31:26

Are you lazy?

"She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness."—Proverbs 31:27

Are you patient?

"Love is patient…."—1 Corinthians 13:4 (NASV)

Are you unselfish?

"Love … does not seek its own…."—1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NASV)

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Yeshua."—Philippians 2:3-5 (NASV)

Is your love unfailing?

"Love never fails…."—1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NASV)

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* All scripture is quoted from the King James Version unless the New American Standard provides more clarity.

** Where the Tetragrammaton YHWH – the four Hebrew characters that represent the personal name of God – has been incorrectly rendered the LORD or GOD in Scripture, the author has taken the liberty to correct this error by inserting YHWH where appropriate.