Marriage by the Bible - Marriage Counseling Questionnaire

Ted R. Weiland · Missionary · www.missiontoisrael.org

Marriage by the Bible

H-1

Do you love your wife? Yes    No

Do you love her (and everything else) second to Yashua* the Christ? Is Yashua first in your life? Yes    No

Do you love your wife sacrificially? Yes    No

Do you care for her as you do your own body? Yes    No

Do you regard her with the same importance as you do yourself?
Yes    No

Other than Yashua, is she more important to you than anyone or anything else? Yes    No

Are you striving to become one with her in all areas (spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially)? Yes    No

Do you serve her? Yes    No

Do you show appreciation for her? Yes    No

Do you ever threaten divorce? Yes    No

Have you ever committed adultery? Yes    No

Do you respond to her sexual needs? Yes    No

Are you still allowing yourself to be aroused by her physical features?
Yes    No

Are you the leader in your home, spiritually, as well as physically?
Yes    No

Is your behavior and lifestyle drawing her closer to Yashua? Are you helping her to become more spiritual? Yes    No

Do you teach and encourage her daily? Yes    No

Do you bear her burdens? Yes    No

Do you pray for her? Yes    No

Do you provide financially for her and for your family? Yes    No

Do you trust her? Yes    No

Do you praise her both privately and publicly? Yes    No

Do you give her freedom for self-expression? Yes    No

Are you understanding and sympathetic? Yes    No

Do you honor her? Yes    No

Are you kind? Yes    No

Are you vindictive? Yes    No

Are you forgiving? Yes    No

Do you confess your faults to your wife? Yes    No

Do you spend recreational time with her? Yes    No

Are you patient? Yes    No

Are you jealous of your wife? Yes    No

Are you rude or offensive? Yes    No

Are you unselfish? Yes    No

Is your love unfailing? Yes    No

________________

*Yashua is the English transliteration of our Savior’s Hebrew name and is preferred by the author.

H-2

Does your wife love you? Yes    No

Does she love you (and everything else) second to Yashua the Christ? Is Yashua first in her life? Yes    No

Other than Yashua, are you more important to your wife than anyone or anything else? Yes    No

Provided you do not ask her to do something ungodly, is she as submissive to you as she is to Yashua? Yes    No

Is she subject to you in everything without complaint, even when she thinks you have made a bad decision or shown poor judgment?
Yes    No

Is she submissive to you even when you’ve treated her badly? Yes    No

Is she subject to you in public? Yes    No

Does she respect you? Yes    No

Does she honor you above herself? Yes    No

Does she seek your advice and counsel? Yes    No

Does she obey you? Yes    No

Does she serve you? Yes    No

Is she striving to become one with you in all areas (spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially)? Yes    No

Does she ever threaten divorce? Yes    No

Has she ever committed adultery? Yes    No

Is she a companion to you? Yes    No

Does she respond to your sexual needs? Yes    No

Is she jealous of you? Yes    No

Does she trust you? Yes    No

Does she assist you? Yes    No

Does she bear your burdens? Yes    No

Is she rude or offensive? Yes    No

Is she vindictive? Yes    No

Is she forgiving? Yes    No

Does she confess her faults to you? Yes    No

Is her behavior and lifestyle drawing you nearer to Yashua? Is she helping you to become more spiritual? Yes    No

Does she encourage you daily? Yes    No

Does she pray for you? Yes    No

Does she allow you to teach her? Yes    No

Is her behavior pure and respectful? Yes    No

Does she display a gentle and quiet spirit? Yes    No

Is she self-controlled and sensible? Yes    No

Is she kind? Yes    No

Does she neglect home responsibilities? Yes    No

Does she nag or argue? Yes    No

Does she use good judgment? Yes    No

Is she trustworthy? Yes    No

Does she contribute to your success? Yes    No

Does she grumble and complain? Yes    No

Does she search for ways to please you? Yes    No

Does she put the family’s needs above her own? Yes    No

Is she wise with money? Yes    No

Does she strive to be healthy? Yes    No

Does she have a good self-image in Christ? Yes    No

Is she generous to those less blessed? Yes    No

Does she prepare for the future? Yes    No

Does she keep herself looking nice? Yes    No

Is she enterprising and industrious? Yes    No

Does she face life with optimism? Yes    No

Does she think before she speaks? Yes    No

Is she lazy? Yes    No

Is she patient? Yes    No

Is she unselfish? Yes    No

Is her love unfailing? Yes    No

H-3

Do you love your wife?

"Husbands, love your wives…"—Colossians 3:19*

Do you love her (and everything else) second to Yashua the Christ? Is He first in your life?

"If ... the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers ... thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him...."—Deuteronomy 13:6-8

"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me."—Matthew 10:37-38

Do you love your wife sacrificially?

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."—Ephesians 5:25

Do you care for her as you do your own body?

"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church."—Ephesians 5:28-29

Do you regard her with the same importance as yourself?

"Love … does not brag and is not arrogant… it does not seek its own…."—1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NASV)

"Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself…."—Ephesians 5:33 (NASV)

Other than Yashua, is she more important to you than anyone or anything else?

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."—Genesis 2:24

Are you striving to become one with her in all areas (spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially)?

"...For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh...."—Matthew 19:5-6

Do you serve her?

"...by love serve one another."—Galatians 5:13

Do you show appreciation for her?

"And Yahweh** God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."—Genesis 2:18

"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of YHWH."—Proverbs 18:22

Do you ever threaten divorce?

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."—Matthew 19:6

"...let not the husband put away his wife."—1 Corinthians 7:11

"Love … endures all things. Love never fails...."—1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NASV)

Have you ever committed adultery?

"Thou shalt not commit adultery."—Exodus 20:14

"Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone, and not for strangers with you."—Proverbs 5:15-17 (NASV)

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."—Hebrews 13:4

Do you respond to your wife’s sexual needs?

"My beloved is mine, and I am his...."—Song of Solomon 2:16

"Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer...."—1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NASV)

Are you still allowing yourself to be aroused by her physical features?

"Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love."—Proverbs 5:18-19 (NASV)

Are you the leader in your home, spiritually, as well as physically?

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church...."—Ephesians 5:23

Is your behavior and lifestyle drawing her closer to Yashua? Are you helping her to become more spiritual?

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish."—Ephesians 5:25:27

"…let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds."—Hebrews 10:24

Do you teach and encourage her daily?

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another...."—Colossians 3:16

Do you bear her burdens?

"Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."—Galatians 6:2

Do you pray for her?

"And Isaac intreated YHWH for his wife...."—Genesis 25:21

"...pray one for another...."—James 5:16

Do you provide financially for her and for your family?

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."—1 Timothy 5:8

Do you trust her?

"…a virtuous woman…. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her...."—Proverbs 31:10-11

"Love … believes all things."—1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NASV)

Do you praise her both privately and publicly?

"...her husband ... praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."—Proverbs 31:28-29

Do you give her freedom for self-expression?

"Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."—Proverbs 31:31

Are you understanding and sympathetic?

"You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel...."—1 Peter 3:7 (NASV)

Do you honor her?

"...since she is a woman ... grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."—1 Peter 3:7 (NASV)

Are you kind?

"Love is … kind."—1 Corinthians 13:4 (NASV)

"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."—Colossians 3:19

Are you vindictive?

"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith YHWH." —Romans 12:19

"Love is … not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered."—1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NASV)

"[Yashua] Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not.... Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel ... that your prayers be not hindered."—1 Peter 2:23-3:7

Are you forgiving?

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."—Matthew 6:14-15

"…For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you."—Matthew 7:2 (NASV)

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you."—Ephesians 4:32

"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."—Colossians 3:19

Do you confess your faults to your wife?

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."—James 5:16

Do you spend recreational time with her?

"Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life, and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun."—Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NASV)

Are you patient?

"Love is patient…."—1 Corinthians 13:4 (NASV)

Are you jealous of your wife?

"Love is … not jealous…."—1 Corinthians 13:4 (NASV)

Are you rude or offensive?

"Love … does not act unbecomingly…."—1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NASV)

Are you unselfish?

"Love … does not seek its own."—1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NASV)

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Yashua."—Philippians 2:3-5 (NASV)

Is your love unfailing?

"Love never fails…."—1 Corinthians 13:8 (NASV)

________________

* All scripture is quoted from the King James Version unless the New American Standard provides more clarity.

** Where the Tetragrammaton YHWH – the four Hebrew characters that represent the personal name of God – has been incorrectly rendered the LORD or GOD in Scripture, the author has taken the liberty to correct this error by inserting YHWH where appropriate.